As we grow up, …

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

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Stages of Life

Life’s a book bitch broad beach Journey.

It sucks, i don’t know of anyone who won’t agree to that at one point or another.

I got friends going through shit I’ve gone thru, legitimately. Hearing their stresses and worries, I’m tempted to put my 2 cents in. Those 2 cents that could make a hell of a difference, maybe like those last two cents you needed to make a dollar at the register. If someone had given them to you or when they did, if you had kept em. You’d be all set. But ya didn’t if nobody ever bothered.

I don’t refrain because I don’t care. I refrain because I guess, if you try and take that hope or dream that their fighting for or going through away, then what if you were wrong and it could’ve worked. What if just because it didn’t work in your experience it won’t with another’s? If you haven’t caught on by now I’m more specifically talking about women but I could apply it to a few others.

I’ve fucked up, had people fuck up with me and think I’m fucking up right now. But I don’t know and won’t know unless the risk is taken. The biggest worry is taking the risk and it not paying off because the other end isn’t there or your at a much farther point.

And when it rains, it fuckin pours. I’ve seen the strongest people in my life reduced to their knees. God and life has no mercy for the good bad ugly or blessed. Karma or no karma shit happens. And there’s no looking back and harping on it, do that when you’re alone with a good friend and shitfaced cus nobody else wants to hear or deal with your shit.

The only thing that matters is what you make of your future.

You can’t make your past, at least there’s no technology for that yet.

So until then use your bootstraps and keep movin, because time waits for no man.

I find myself in a weird stage in life. With so much on my plate. With things I want now, things I want then. Things I’m dealing with, things that burden me, things ive had to let go of, things I regret, and goals.

As someone who thought they knew what love was. I’ve been regretfully mistaken. It’s interesting because people that grow on you, is not love. Physical attraction is not love. There are many more things that are not love than those that are. So when does one know? No goddamn clue because I thought I did. So what does one do now? Keep walking until he walks into it or trips on it. Keep walking down that sidewalk or path. Who knows?

Lastly, I really wish I could be more honest and upfront with myself. For example if I like you or if I want to punch you in the throat for how much I hate you, I wish I could just tell you and you could be honest back and we could go from there. I feel like what people say is “consideration” or being “nice” is just you being a pussy. Because if someone comes up to you unprovoked and just says how they feel, they don’t want the run around they want the truth, no bullshit. But what stops me and I am afraid of, is the authenticity of the other persons response. And what I hate more is encrypted language and screwing around. It sucks and gets nothing accomplished.

Call it wisdom. Call it complaining. Call it terrible. Call it what you like but nobody forced you to read.

Note: All writers draw inspiration from their experiences so yes this in twitter language is like “sub-writing.”

Ta ta for now & buona notte.

10/4

Better late than never, but never late is better.

I take a moment this evening to let this blog continue. Update you a little about the things I been through.

 

I have brought too felines into my life, unfortunately left at home. They brought another dimension of caring into my life. Not of just material and familial ties but rather one of choice and complete unconditional care. Interesting. The collegiate journey has resumed. With the eventual goal of ultimately never having to do what those who have come before me have. I have, not yet officially, accomplished something I have put so much time, effort, and mental work into. This simple thing I’ve been doing my whole life, over these last few days has strangely made me realize a wealth of things. Things I had been told years ago, but finally make any practical sense at all.

Be all you can be.

Sounded so damn dumb….Yeah go out and do everything….”Okay you jackass” 

 

But its not dumb and its not go out and do everything. What I have developed it to mean to me is follow your ambitions until they lead to dead ends. Follow your every desire, ambition, and ideas until there is nothing else you can do to feel accomplished. Whether you succeed or fail is for most, never the outcome,  but the fact that you never gave in, never folded and did do all you could, is more than whoever failed.

By what I believe has only been luck alone and thanks to how I was raised, I have succeeded.

 

Always with so much to write but no idea how to formulate it. I sit in complete hypocrisy, philosophizing. I hate philosophizing people who do nothing but fuck up in life but somehow have all the words and wisdom. Yet they have no pot to piss in and no life long ambitions. 

 

In the end I only hope to change the lives of the people who I meet and make a difference. And maybe crack a joke or two in the meantime. Hope the true & few who read enjoy.

 

Please comment, add or shit on.

 

Cheers. 10/4